Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Anyone got a vision crystal?

It's not like I TRY to go long periods of time without blogging. I could use the excuse that I'm busy, which is true, but so is everyone else in the world. That excuse just usually doesn't work.

I sometimes wish that I had a little lens that I could look through to see what is to come. Paul and I feel so lost and directionless right now, not knowing if he will get into a graduate program and not certain what we will do if he doesn't. It's the point at which you sigh and keep trudging on...

On the one hand, there is a lot of possibility no matter what happens. With his Bachelor's, Paul should be able to get a real job and we can always stay where we are. We do like it here a lot, other than the basement living arrangements. There's always next year to reapply to more programs- and either this time around or next, he'll get in somewhere and things will be all right.

I just wish I KNEW! I hate this stumbling around in the dark. We literally have no idea what's going to happen and that makes it impossible to make plans. I should just be excited for the ride, but I don't always feel that adventurous.

The most important thing is having faith that somehow something good will happen for us and we will be okay. I want to pour that hope into my husband so that he can be at peace. But this is just life, isn't it?